| Playing with Unknown people |
As we all get into the scene, our intuition can guide us quite well. We all should learn to listen to it, as it can be
quite helpful within all negotiations. Newbies may not have developed that sense of "Danger, Danger Will
Robinson, Danger!!" that experienced players get when encountering someone who may not be that healthy to
play with.
There may be some known, or unconscious manipulation of the facts that lend someone to believe the purports
of skill or experience of someone who is not what they portray. Don't ever let people manipulate or guilt you
into playing with them.
One thing that I would strongly recommend to newbies and newer players; whether you are a Top or bottom,
check out the reputation of the person you are playing with. This is a smaller community and most people will
know of, or have heard of the players. Unlike general society, the BDSM world thrives because people observe,
and are honest about what they see the other players doing.
Also, if this is not possible, watch that person play with someone else. See how you feel about their style of play.
Is it the way you desire your play? Is it too much, not enough, too hard, or too fast? Not enough warm up? Not
enough aftercare? Whether they believe the other to be following the precepts of safe, sane and consentual or
risk-aware consensual kinky play. etc..
I can assure you, that as a Top/Dom I am flattered that you would asking people about me. I also will think
higher of you, because you are thinking ahead, and care about who you are playing with. Don't worry about it
getting back to us, because if our reputation is good, then we will be honored by your inquiries.
One thing for everyone to remember, submission is a gift, and submissives are not doormats, and Tops are not
whipping machines - so honor the people you play with, and treat them with respect. If you do, you will find
you are playing much more often, and with much more enthusiasm.
© 2006 Sir Barak
quite helpful within all negotiations. Newbies may not have developed that sense of "Danger, Danger Will
Robinson, Danger!!" that experienced players get when encountering someone who may not be that healthy to
play with.
There may be some known, or unconscious manipulation of the facts that lend someone to believe the purports
of skill or experience of someone who is not what they portray. Don't ever let people manipulate or guilt you
into playing with them.
One thing that I would strongly recommend to newbies and newer players; whether you are a Top or bottom,
check out the reputation of the person you are playing with. This is a smaller community and most people will
know of, or have heard of the players. Unlike general society, the BDSM world thrives because people observe,
and are honest about what they see the other players doing.
Also, if this is not possible, watch that person play with someone else. See how you feel about their style of play.
Is it the way you desire your play? Is it too much, not enough, too hard, or too fast? Not enough warm up? Not
enough aftercare? Whether they believe the other to be following the precepts of safe, sane and consentual or
risk-aware consensual kinky play. etc..
I can assure you, that as a Top/Dom I am flattered that you would asking people about me. I also will think
higher of you, because you are thinking ahead, and care about who you are playing with. Don't worry about it
getting back to us, because if our reputation is good, then we will be honored by your inquiries.
One thing for everyone to remember, submission is a gift, and submissives are not doormats, and Tops are not
whipping machines - so honor the people you play with, and treat them with respect. If you do, you will find
you are playing much more often, and with much more enthusiasm.
© 2006 Sir Barak
